Two Lovers - Matthew 1:18-25

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Mary and Joseph were lovers at Christmas... standing face to face. 

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about. His mother Mary was pledged in marriage to Joseph. Matthew 1:18

From an earthly point of view, we think we know where the story goes next. 

Well, it didn't work out that way.  

Mary and Joseph lived in Nazareth, a small town far from the seats of power, far from the seats of politics. We don't know how they met but we do know that one day Joseph's family approached Mary's family with a proposal: would Mary agree to be Joseph's wife? They came to Mary's home and offered her gifts. If Mary accepted the gifts, she was saying yes to Joseph.  

Next came the betrothal feast: a ceremony and celebration at the bride's home. 

Mary and Joseph stood face-to-face in her home, and drank from a shared cup that represented the joy of coming together, and the covenant—the lifelong promise that they were making to each other.  

They stood together and heard someone pray over them a blessing: 

Blessed art thou, O Lord our God, king of the universe, who has set us apart with thy commandments...

They stood face to face as Joseph handed Mary a ring, and he said to her:  

Be betrothed to me with this ring in accordance with the laws of Moses and of Israel.

They were betrothed. They were engaged. They had made a vow of faithfulness to each other.  

Face-to-face.  

Next came a period of preparation. 

Joseph’s responsibility was to prepare a new home, a place for her to come, where they would build their new family.  

Mary’s was to make sure she had everything she would need to take with her, had learned what she needed about running a household. Making sure that she was ready for this new phase of her life.  

Part of Joseph's work was to choose his “Friend of the Bridegroom:” sort of like the ‘best man,’ only more so. He would act as a go-between for the families, negotiating and setting up details, making sure everybody knew what was going on. 

Then, near the end of that year of preparation, there would come a day when Joseph's father would look at all of the arrangements and give his approval. 

On that day, the Friend of the Bridegroom would go to Mary's house and knock on the door to deliver the message: “Everything is ready. So, you... be ready!” 

Mary's household would go from DEFCON 5 to DEFCON 1. This would be a kind of waiting: now they knew he was coming. 

They would start listening, at night especially, for voices in the streets. For people laughing and singing and walking together. Coming closer and closer. They would listen for those voices to stop outside her door. For the Friend of the Bridegroom to knock, to be let in. To offer his arm to Mary, walk her out the door, pass her to Joseph so that she could take his arm.  

Then they would all, this huge, noisy party with torches and singing and instruments, all march off back down the street to Joseph's house for the wedding. Where they would be married.  

They would stand under a canopy, face-to-face, surrounded by people who loved them. Joseph would say: “Be thou my wife, according to the law of Moses and Israel, and I will work for thee, honour, provide for, and support thee in truth...” 

After all that waiting and all that working... a party. Like we can't even imagine. A week-long party with people coming and going and wine and feasting.  

Joseph must have been looking forward to that. Mary must have been looking forward to that.  

...but before they came together, she was found to be with child. Matthew 1:18  

I can't imagine how devastating that must have been for Joseph.  

Like, what happened? He must have lain awake at night, trying to remember her face on that betrothal day, as she accepted his proposal, accepted him as her betrothed. She looked him in the eye and she drank from the cup and she vowed to live according to the laws of Moses. He must have searched his mind, playing it back, trying to remember her face. Wondering, “What did I miss?” 

And now, instead of preparing for the wedding, Joseph was preparing for a divorce.  

Now there would be no crowd of family and friends: just two witnesses.  

Instead of the joyous walk to her house with torches and singing and dancing: just a long trudge through the streets to her door.  

Then sitting at her table, writing her name, writing his name, writing a certificate of divorce, signing it.  

Then putting it in her hand. (Would she be able to look him in the eye in that moment? Would he be able to look her in the eye at that moment?)  

Then he would walk away. A long, long, lonely walk home.  

But the good news is... that was not the plan.  

After Joseph had pondered these things, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, don't be afraid to embrace Mary as your wife. For the one conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him. Matthew 1:20-21

Joseph brought Mary home as his bride. I wonder what that looked like.  

Probably no torchlight block party. Probably no bridesmaids, all dressed up. Probably no singing and dancing and laughing and crowds of friends.  

It was probably just the two of them and two witnesses. A quiet walk through town, past some snickering faces and some shaking heads. Arriving at their new home. Closing the door behind them. Probably a quiet ceremony, just family, with Joseph saying those words, but from a new place in his heart: “Be thou my wife.”  

Probably no week-long party. Probably no coming and going.  

It was probably just the two of them sitting down and figuring out, where do we go from here? How do we live this life? Comparing notes, comparing angel stories and experiences. Beginning the long, long journey of a lifetime of promise keeping.  

I like to think that for the rest of their lives, whenever they looked each other in the eye, they saw a reflection there: a reflection of someone who had been faithful, someone who was loved, someone who loved. I would like to think that maybe in the background of that reflection, they could also see friends and family coming around them to help them to journey this strange, strange new life.  

______ 

A very different pair of lovers that we meet around Jesus' birth are Simeon and Anna. 

You may not think the word ‘lovers’ applies to them;  they weren't married, and they weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. But they were lovers.  

Luke introduces us to Simeon:  

At that time, there was a man in Jerusalem named Simeon. He was righteous and devout and was eagerly waiting for the Messiah to come and rescue Israel. The Holy Spirit was on him and had revealed to him that he would not die until he had seen the Lord's Messiah. And that day, the Spirit led him to the Temple. Luke 2:25-27

Luke tells us about Anna:  

Anna, a prophet, was also there in the Temple on that same day. She was the daughter of Phanuel from the tribe of Asher, and she was very old. Her husband died when they had been married only seven years, and then she lived as a widow to the age of 84. She never left the Temple, but stayed there day and night, worshipping God with fasting and with prayer. Luke 2:36-37 

I tend to picture Simeon and Anna not face-to-face, but standing back-to-back.  

In Simeon's response to meeting Jesus for the first time, he speaks of the future. His words to Mary are all about what is going to happen next.  

He said to Jesus' mother, Mary, "Behold, this child is appointed to cause the rise and fall of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the hearts of many and the thoughts of many will be revealed, and a sword will pierce your soul as well." Luke 2:32-35 

Simeon's words to Mary point towards the future.  

Anna's response is rooted in the past.  

Coming forward at that moment, Anna gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were awaiting the redemption of Jerusalem. Luke 2:38

 In that phrase, many commentators say that Luke is quoting Anna as she points us toward a prophecy made centuries before. 

The watchmen sing and shout with joy, for before their very eyes they see the Lord returning to Jerusalem. Let the ruins of Jerusalem break into joyful song, for the Lord has comforted his people. He has redeemed Jerusalem. Isaiah 52:6-9

Anna is a watchman. She lives in the Temple. She's there every day and every night, watching and waiting. Today, she sings and shouts with joy that the Lord has redeemed his people.

Simeon and Anna were lovers. They were lovers of Yahweh God. They were lovers of their own people.  

They stand back-to-back at the turning point of history. They link the past and the future. They are faithful elders, filled with the Holy Spirit, and their arms are filled with the child who will become a man who will save us all. 

They stand back-to-back saying, ‘God has redeemed’ and ‘God will reveal.’ 

________________ 

We look to people like Joseph and Mary, like Simeon and Anna, for examples.  

We look to learn from their lives. We look to learn from who they were and how they acted when God surprised them and how God used them and guided them and met them in their lives. 

They were lovers, filled and led by the God who is love.  The God who has come to us. 

Emmanuel.