Uphill from Here

For the past 3 weeks, I've been on vacation. The better part of a month of rest, reading, hanging out with my family, returning to familiar places, stepping across the threshold of some new ones. I'm looking forward to sharing some of those experiences (and how God met me in some surprising places) with the church on Sunday.

I spent some of the time reading. These are, more or less (not including the mystery novel on the nightstand) the books I either read or finished reading. From the funny to the thought-provoking.

In the weeks before my vacation started, I was aware of fatigue. Getting tired. Looking forward to the change and the rest. I'm blessed to know that in my absence, the people I care about are in good hands  -- our deacons, leadership board, guest preachers are all people I trust with this care. But when I locked my office door on that Sunday in July, got in my car and drove homeward, I felt relieved. Like I'd accomplished something, and earned a break.

Over the last couple of days, I've been mentally readying myself for the return. Making a list of things I wanted to get done today or (more likely) this week. Questions to ask, plans to consider.

Driving through town this morning, I asked myself, "How are you feeling about going back?"

Which is a fair question. I've had the experience of going back to a job I disliked. I've had the experience of going back to a building that made me anxious.

But today, the answer was, "I'm ready." I've had the chance to remember what it's like to not be doing this work, and to miss it.

When I pulled in the parking lot, the plan was to leave my briefcase and laptop in the car, and to go straight to the sanctuary for a time of stillness and listening for the Holy Spirit. Allowing my heart and mind to change gears. Settling into the space and the head-space. Just me and Jesus. 

But turning into a spot near the back door, I saw... flies. Lots of flies. Buzzing around a dark blob in the sheltered corner of the building. And a sock. 

Ugh. #downtownchurch

I did leave my briefcase and laptop in the car. But instead of up to the sanctuary, I headed downstairs to where the rubber gloves are, and the disinfectant wipes, and the plastic bags. I cleaned it up. 

(Could have been worse. Somebody needs fibre, dude.) 

Then I went to the sanctuary.

I'm choosing not to see this as a metaphor or an Ezekiel type of prophecy. Anyway, as someone said this afternoon, "It can only go up from there!"

Amen to that.

Such is the life of the Pastor. You never know what's around the corner. Figuratively or literally.

I'm glad to be back. Still looking forward to what God has for our church. For me. For my family.

Still praying. Still preaching. Still learning.

Still being humbled.